Are you in a situation where you know you aren’t as confident as you’d like to be? But. You don’t know why this is so. Or what to do about it?
I’ve been in that situation myself.
However, fortunately, I discovered those key elements that were impinging upon mu success. And. I was able to do something about that.
Let’s look at how confidence arises and what you can do to resolve any underlying issues affecting that state.
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How to Achieve a Confident State
When you are happy, focused and free from stress you will be confident.
If you are depressed or anxious, or somewhere in-between, it is not possible for you to feel fully confident.
Confidence is a State of Being
It is a state of belief of certainty, that individuals have, at a particular moment, about their ability to succeed.
It is a state of being that most people aspire to.
Let me go through the elements of what makes up your confidence level, or lack thereof.
Knowledge and explanation of these individual elements will lead to greater understanding of why you are not in a confident state, most of the time.
And.
If you desire to change your current position then you will need to deal with one or more of these combined elements that keep you stuck, or exacerbate your downwards spiral, into feeling out-of-control.
Evaluation of Your Level of Confidence
At the basis of all downward spirals of confidence is stress. Understanding this will lead you to choose a better way forward. (See video for explanation –
You are stressed if:
-You are struggling to achieve something
– you are straining against something or someone, some principle or belief
You are stressed if:
– if you are stuck in a rut and unable to make decisions
– If you are coming from a place of “lack” – feeling inadequate, or not having the resources needed to succeed
Or
You are stressed if:
– If you have pain or tension anywhere in your body/mind
So, you can see that this all-encompassing definition results in this sentence:
STRESS is at the Basis of ALL of Our States
If that is so, then being in a stressed state leads us to have negative feelings and emotions about ourselves and others.
These negative emotions can result in negative states… remembering that a state is having a belief of certainty, that individuals have, at a particular moment, about their ability to succeed.
Having a negative state will result in you not feeling you can succeed.
The Two Most Prominent Negative States:Depression and Anxiety
If you are constantly going over the past, trying to change the outcome by repeating statements such as: “if only I’d said or done this, whatever that is…” This will result in a state of depression. It is about the repetition of these types of statements.
Now. Behind this state, the types of negative emotions that can lead to a state of depression include: guilt, anger, rage, sadness, doubt, suppression and so on… the list could be endless… but they all start will fear.
At the other extreme, if you are constantly fearful of the future, and say things like:” what if this happened or that happened…” This will result in a state of anxiety, because of the repetitive words, and the fact that you are trying to control everything around you, to help take away your fear.
The types of negative emotions that can lead to a state of anxiety are: fearfulness of the future, overwhelm, impatience, frustration, untrusting, being alarmist, and so on.
These types of emotions and states lead to our self-image.
Self- Image is Made Up of Two Parts
The internal factors and the external factors.
The internal factors are driven by how we feel about ourselves.
When you continually repeat negative thoughts and emote those negative feelings, you embed synapses in the brain, that keep you locked into certain behaviour response patterns.
To be anxious or depressed you needed to have been repeating those thoughts and feelings, over many, many years.
So, if we are overtaken with negativity, this then forms the basis of our internal factors, our self-talk and our beliefs, which affect our self-image.
If we act from positivity then the factors affecting our internal image of self, would be more optimistic, instead.
The external factors are driven by the feedback we get from others around us, those whose opinions matter.
If we take too much notice of other’s opinions of us, this will lead to having an overall, low self-image.
So, there needs to be a balance between how we let the internal factors and the external factors affect us.
If we constantly rely on others’ opinions then we will be continually battered from pillar to post.
So, we need to develop a strong sense of internal identity.
The Totality of Our Self-Image Leads to Our Measure of Self-Esteem
If we have low overall self-esteem then we cannot possibly be confident, at all.
If we have high overall self-esteem, then we will be confident most of the time.
So, how we measure our level of confidence at any one time, is by our subjective assessment of our level of self-esteem.
In Summary:
.. this is how we evaluate our levels of confidence…
- to achieve a confident state, we need to address some or all of the elements already mentioned.
Way Forward
I hope that gives you a better understanding of how you arrive at a level of confidence.
If you would like to find out more about how to achieve a more powerful state of confidence, then listen to the video above, on “The Stress Trigger Resolution Technique”, and take action now.
Wishing you every success.
Blessings
